


Want You Back

by hopeduckling13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 6x14, Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 21:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13796280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeduckling13/pseuds/hopeduckling13
Summary: [6x14 Page 23]Emma gave Killian the engagement ring back. Now he has the chance to leave on the Nautilus with his brother and Nemo, but will he do that? Or will he rather stay with his Swan and apologize to her?





	Want You Back

_“Can't help but wondering if this_  
 _Is the last time that I'll see your face_  
 _Is it tears or just the fucking rain?_  
 _Wish I could say something_  
 _Something that doesn't sound insane_  
 _But lately I don't trust my brain_  
 _You tell me I won't ever change_  
 _So I just say nothing_  
  
_No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back_  
 _No matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back_  
 _I know you know I will never get over you_  
 _No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back_  
 _Want you back”_

_\- Want You Back by 5 Seconds of Summer_

## Killian‘s POV

 

 

 

_You come to me, Hook, and you lean on me and you trust me! We have to stop hiding things from each other. The man I fell in love with would know that. He would know that we would do things together. That is what I agreed to marry. That is what I thought that we were together. Until you're ready for that then we can talk._

Those words were the last ones Emma said to me before she placed my mother’s ring back in my hand, stomped up the stairs and slammed our bedroom door shut.

 

I remained in our living room, frozen and completely heartbroken at the sound of her sobs, coming from upstairs. I’d like nothing more right now than running to her and holding her tightly in my arms until all her troubles are chased away. But I know, that she doesn’t want to see me right now. She made that very clear just a moment ago.

 

So, I approach the door and open it. I stare at the stairs for almost an eternity, wanting so bad to sprint them up and make everything right between me and my Swan, before turning around and leaving our house.

 

In front of our house I look up at the window of our bedroom, but I can’t see Emma from here. I wish I could though since I don’t know whether this could be the last time that I see her angelic face.

 

…

 

After a short walk I’m standing on the Jolly Rodger. On my way here, I saw Nemo and asked him whether I could join them on their journey. They plan to leave tomorrow, so I need to think this through now.

 

It would probably be a great thing for me to go away on the Nautilus, but I don’t really know if I should do it. I don’t want to leave Storybrooke and abandon my Emma. She’s been through abandonment too often already and I don’t want to hurt her like that.

 

I also fear, that if I went away, she’d never forgive me for what I did. She might need a little space right now, but she’ll be ready to talk about me trying to burn my own memories eventually. I just need to give her a little bit of time to cool off and get over the pain I caused her by lying to her.

 

I’ll definitely give her that time since no matter what happens, I’ll always want her back.

 

Before I met Emma Swan, I was a lost pirate, who only cared about his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin for killing his first love. I was empty and had no hope left for a happy life.

 

All that changed when I met her. She’s the light to my darkness and I don’t think I could ever stop loving her nor stop wanting to be with her, even if I tried.

 

So, all in all I definitely don’t want to leave her alone here and risk her thinking, that I abandoned her. But I should probably go anyway.

 

Emma was right. I never should’ve lied to her. She deserves far better than that. Somehow, I changed back into my old villainous self by the reminder of something I did back then. I have to become a hero again, someone, who’s worthy of Emma’s love.

 

I won’t leave without a goodbye though. I know she doesn’t want to see me right now, but I’ll stop by our house anyway. I refuse to let her think I’d ever abandon her.

 

…

 

I enter mine and Emma’s house, that I’ve come to think of as home. In the past I never believed, that anything other than my ship, the Jolly Rodger, could ever be considered home for me, but that’s not the case anymore. My home is wherever Emma is, so this place, that we share, feels like home.

 

As I walk up the stairs I don’t hear any sobs, so Emma obviously calmed down. That’s good because she’d probably kick me out right away, if she was still crying. She doesn’t like to show people her vulnerability. Usually I’m an exception, but I doubt that would be the case today since she’s mad at me for lying to her.

 

I’m standing in front of our bedroom door and hesitate. Should I go inside on my own or knock first? I decide on knocking on the door, but when no sound comes from inside I enter the room anyway.

 

Emma is lying on our bed and she’s sleeping soundly, hugging one of my shirts tightly to her nose and chest. I approach her silently and sit down next to her on the bed, running my hand softly through her hair. She stirs and opens her reddened, swollen eyes slowly. She’s obviously cried a lot before falling asleep.

 

I hate to see her like this, knowing I caused this kind of pain.

 

Emma: “Killian? What are you doing here?”

 

Even though her voice is clouded with sleepiness, I can still hear her anger at me through it.

 

Killian: “We need to talk.”

 

She sits up and gives me a sign to start talking. I take her hand, but she stares down at our intertwined hands and pulls hers away again after a moment. So, she hasn’t forgiven me yet and doesn’t want to do it either.

 

Killian: “I’m sorry, that I’ve lied to you, Emma. I should’ve come to you, instead of trying to burn my own memories. I know you would’ve understood.”

 

Emma: “If you knew that, then why did you decide to lie to me?”

 

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at me.

 

Killian: “This wasn’t about you, Emma. I’m not proud of what I did, and I just wanted the guilt to go away. It killed me to know, that I didn’t just destroy my own family, but that I destroyed yours, too. I love you more than anything, but now I know even more than before, that I don’t deserve you. I thought, that if I could forget what I did, that I might at least feel like I’m good enough for you. But I’m obviously not, so I decided, that I need to become a better person. I’ll leave with my brother tomorrow and I promise I won’t come back before I’m worthy of you again. I’ll fix this.”

 

She smiles sadly at me, tears forming in her eyes. This time she’s the one who reaches out for my hand and hook and holds them tightly.

 

Emma: “So you’ve come to say goodbye?”

 

Killian: “Yes. I didn’t want to go without letting you know, where I was going. I’d never abandon you, Swan.”

 

A single tear slips out of her eye and she suddenly throws both her arms around me. It only takes me a moment to return the gesture.

 

Emma: “Thank you.”

 

Killian: “I know, that I’m not in any position to ask anything of you, but will you wait for me?”

 

Emma: “Of course. I might be mad at you right now, but that doesn’t stop me from loving you. And no matter how long you’re gone, I’m always gonna want you back.”

 

This time I pull her close to me, breathing her in since I have no idea when I’ll get to hold her in my arms again. I already know, that just like during the missing year, I’ll think of my Swan every day and I’ll miss her just as much as I love her.

 

Killian: “So I guess, this is goodbye?”

 

Emma: “If that’s what you want.”

 

I give her a questioning look. She must be aware of the fact, that I don’t particularly enjoy leaving.

 

Emma: “No one’s forcing you to go nor am I forcing you to stay. You don’t need to leave though, if that’s not what you want.”

 

Killian: “I told you, that I need to go in order to earn your forgiveness.”

 

Emma: “But you don’t need to leave for that. I already forgive you because I somehow can’t manage to stay mad at you for a long time. I love you too much to even pretend to hate you.”

 

She does forgive me?

 

Then I guess the decision has been made. I’m going to stay with my Swan and make all of this up to her in different ways.

 

I take her hand once again and pull her to me by it, connecting our lips in a passionate kiss.

 

Killian: “Then I’ll stay.”

 

Emma: “You really want this? If you want to go, that’s okay, you know. I’m not trying to sabotage you into staying.”

 

Killian: “You’re not sabotaging me into doing anything. I love you and I don’t want to go anywhere without you.”

 

She smiles and reaches for the pocket of my jacket. A second later she pulls the engagement ring out of it and puts it back on her finger.

 

Killian: “You sure you’re ready for that after everything that’s happened?”

 

Emma: “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”

 

We kiss again and celebrate our engagement for the rest of the day.


End file.
